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Viewing 19 - 27 out of 34 Blogs.
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If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, s o that would be a good thing) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. ( I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)
Tags: Interesting Facts
Ha, this is great. Taken from here. By now, I am sure most of you have heard the Tim Tebow vs. Chuck Norris comparison on ESPN after Chuck Norris sent a letter - check that, fax - of congratulations to Tebow after he won the Heisman. What? Total douche bag. Desperate times call for desperate measures. That's where Sammy comes in. Tim, Chuck – take our guy. We dare you. Exactly how bad is Bo Pelini…………………  If Bo Pelini was gay, his name would be Tim Tebow. Bo Pelini’s parents threw him a surprise birthday party when he was young. Once. Bo Pelini only masturbates to pictures of Bo Pelini. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Pelini now lives in Nebraska. Bo Pelini can get McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30. Pelini makes Chuck Norris sit down to pee.  Before Tim Tebow goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Bo Pelini. Bo Pelini does not tea-bag the ladies. He potato-bags them. Bo Pelini could kill Chuck Norris nine different ways with his headset and four different ways with his play chart. Bo Pelini sleeps with a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Bo Pelini. Bo Pelini can touch MC Hammer. People wear Superman pajamas to bed. Superman wears Bo Pelini pajamas to bed. Bo Pelini's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Bo Pelini. Bo Pelini was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.  Bo Pelini doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow. Bo Pelini used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following him to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him. They say that Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Bo Pelini laughs at Superman for having a weakness. Bo Pelini's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Bo Pelini will not take shit from anyone. Bo Pelini once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned. Bo Pelini's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass." Bo Pelini once worked as weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Each night the forecast was ’partly cloudy with a 75% of pain.’ Hellen Keller’s favorite color is Bo Pelini. Bo Pelini recently had an idea to sell his urine in a can. Now it is known as Red Bull. When Bo Pelini stares at Iowa, he gets popcorn. Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It is also what Bo Pelini calls the opponents laying in his front yard. Bo Pelini doesn't write down plays in his defensive playbook. He stares it down and the plays write themselves. One time, Bo Pelini stubbed his toe and wiped out the entire state of Ohio. Bo Pelini eats steak every meal. Most times he forgets to kill Bevo first. And finally. In a fight between Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris - the winner is......... Bo Pelini.
Tags: Bo Pelini Vs Tim Tebow AND Chuck Norris
Overheard: The beautiful girl on her cell phone leaves a
message.
“I don’t know whether you’re ignoring me, or just, like, extra busy or
something. I really want to talk to you… Whatever.”
Tags: Blonde Cell Phone Whatever
Age 1: I do not cry when hungry or tired. The doctor says I’m probably slow. Age 2: My mom and dad stare down at me. Dad says, “I think she’s lying.” Mom says, “I don’t think she knows how to lie.” I am lying. Age 3: I would like to wear dresses and shiny shoes all the time, please. Age 4: Dustin tries to “hump” my leg in the kindergarten recess line, and I shove him. Forever after, I will find the name Dustin slightly irritating. Age 5: I carry a red purse with a long strap, and fill it with pennies. One day while Joey and I are chasing each other around the playground, I swing it excitedly and hit him in the back. His face is so surprised and pained that the memory of it still makes me cringe. Age 6: Mrs. Bartlett sends my best friend home because she has a hole in her sweater. I cry because I know her family is poor, and I have to stand the corner as punishment for crying. I attend a new school for third grade. Age 7: While swinging, I realize I have no impending doctor or dentist appointments, and experience a surge of pure joy. Age 8: My grandfather dies. At his body viewing, a young man who works at the funeral home takes me to the refrigerated florist shop to buy me a flower. I choose a carnation, a white one with red stripes. Age 9: Mrs. Ross is my happy, curly-haired fourth grade teacher, and she assigns us poetry exercises. Her note on my first haiku says “Great imagery! You will be an excellent writer one day.” Age 10: “Mom?” I say. “How do gay people have sex?” Mom takes a deep breath and pauses. She says, “I am very uncomfortable telling you this, but they say that if you’re old enough to ask, you’re old enough to know… Gay people have sex in the butt.”
Tags: First Decade
I doubt you have to be a Sex and The City fan to appreciate this clip
from The Daily Show called “Is American Ready for a Woman President?”,
but if you are a SATC fan you are absolutely guaranteed to LOL.
I think it’s time for a medication switch.
I’m not particularly thrilled to admit this with an almost full bottle
of Zyrtec-D sitting in front of me that I paid $40 for with insurance.
But I have noticed in the last month that my quality of life has
suddenly deteriorated and I have to take Sudafed Allergy Sinus on TOP
of Zyrtec-D and Flonase to get any effect and even then it doesn’t
always work.
This seems to happen perodically… When I was first put on Claritin-D
(back when it was prescription) and Rhinocort it worked for about two
years and then stopped. Then I was put on Allergra and I think I was
still on Rhincort then too, and it worked for two years and then
stopped. Then I was put on Zyrtec-D and Flonase, and you guessed it…
it’s been about two years and it’s stopped working.
Now what? What other medications haven’t I tried at this point?
Tags: Nose Sucks
My favorite pieces of advice: To choose a spouse, find someone who is flawlessly kind but has an incredibly strong backbone. See also: Marry him only if you will be proud when your child turns out just like him. Don’t make assumptions, and don’t take things personally. What you give is what you get. When you predict that negative things will happen, they do. The opposite is also true.
Tags: Favorite Advice
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Hiking
Posted On 08/31/2007 12:49:37
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Me: Which way should we go? Ali: Let me check the map. (Older male
jogger appears on the trail.) Me: Excuse me. Which trail leads back to
the trailhead? Him: Heh. You ever seen Deliverance? Me: Yes.
Him: "You're a long ways from home son." Me: Huh. Him: I'm thinking
of that toothless guy. (Ali and I exchange glances.)Me: Do you
know which way leads to the trailhead? Him: Yep. You take the trail on the
left, cross a bridge, it'll fork off to the right, but you don't wanna go that
way. Just keep going straight. Ali: Thanks. Him: No problem. (He
hesitates, then jogs off.)Me: Yeah. Word to the wise, fella. When you
come across two women alone in the woods, the Deliverance jokes aren't
gonna make an entirely favorable impression. Ali: Seriously. Me: Is my
pocketknife in the pack? Ali: I think so. Me: I'm just gonna grab that. 
Tags: Hiking
Wow, what a weekend. Who'd a thunk that in just a few days so much celebrity drama could go down? That's right, if you already haven't heard DMX tried to pull a Vick, Nick Hogan is in critical condition after a wreck and Owen Wilson tried to end it all. Let's get started shall we? DMX Vick?  For DMX, 2006 was the Year of the Dog; 2007 is shaping up to be the year of being dogged.
The rapper and actor, who remains on the lam in New York, could be persona non grata in Arizona after investigators found a stockpile of guns and a dozen "distressed" pit bulls at his home in the Phoenix suburb of Cave Creek.
The Maricopa County Sheriff's Department raided the property Friday morning and seized the animals, which were then turned over to a shelter. DMX Full Story
Nick Hogan Accident  Hulk Hogan's son, Nick, was seriously injured in a car accident tonight in Clearwater, Fla.
Law enforcement tells TMZ the accident occurred around 7:31 PM ET. According to police, a Toyota Supra, driven by Nick Bollea (Hogan's real name), was traveling at a very high rate of speed when it lost control and hit a raised median. The car was flipped around and the back end hit a palm tree. The impact, we're told, "destroyed the entire car." The two male occupants were flown by Medivac helicopter from the accident scene to a hospital in St. Petersburg. We're told both men had "very very serious" injuries. Full StoryOwen Wilson Suicide Attempt  Wilson was transported to St. John’s hospital in Santa Monica , Calif. on Sunday, August 26, by ambulance. Sources tell the ENQUIRER and Star that he sliced his left wrists and took an indeterminate amount of pills.
He was discovered by a family member who summoned help.
Police and an ambulance responded to a 911 call from Owen’s house around noon on Sunday. Full Story
Tags: Dmx Arrested Hogan Hurt Owen Slits Wrists
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