This week's roommate confession is devoted entirely to freshman confessions, pranks and sins so pure and evil that I couldn't squeeze it down to just 5, so it's 10. That's right! That's like, two weeks of confessions wrapped into one cheesy gordita crunch. So check out the top 10 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to me here.

My freshman year I was at a party and there was a guy there who was wasted, loud, and obviously thought he wasn't a douche bag. As it turns out, he was; so when he set down his beer I took it outside, dumped out 3/4 of it, and my roommate and I took turns peeing and ashing cigarettes into it until it was full again. I then set the beer back where he left it and watched as he drank the rest of his piss cocktail. Every time he got loud after that I told him that he was "Piss drunk" and he would laugh. I laughed too, but not with him.

Brandon Yuenger, GVSU

My freshman year I arrived at the dorm first and claimed the bottom bunk. My roommate was afraid to sleep on the top so he used an air mattress. He was also a total freak in innumerable other ways as evidenced by said air mattress... Anyway, I was sick of him after the first couple weeks of school and poked a hole in his mattress with a push pin while he was in class. It was a slow leak so he would end up on the floor every night after a few hours. He could never figure out why. I don't feel bad.
Shimmy Annonymous, East Tennessee State University

One of my pledge brothers, Mitch, dated this girl at the beginning of freshman year. This girl was gorgeous but he and she were both shitty people. He constantly cheated on her and talked shit about her yet they would still hook up later that night. Well one night his girl from his hometown, Alexa, decided to come down and everyone knew what the outcome of the night would be for them. It just so happened that the night Alexa came it was also the other girl's birthday. Knowing full and well she was wasted because of her birthday me and a couple of other guys decided to call her up from my phone claiming that it was Mitch and that his phone was broken so he had to use mine. We then convinced her to come down to Mitch's dorm room for a little birthday lovin'. To her surprise she walked in on him and Alexa hooking up and proceeded to cause a huge scene which ended in them never speaking to each other again. Now a semester later he's a walking STD and she is the biggest slut at school.
TBH HNJ, UGA

So freshman year there was this kid on our floor from Alabama. He was really southern and conservative, really devout Christian pissing off a lot of people on the floor. He was also a huge brat considering he was an only child and he spent money like it grew on trees. The kid was really obnoxious and annoying, yet he blamed everyone else for his shortcomings, especially girls who rejected him one time accusing her of being a lesbian. He always was in his room, even when his roommate's girlfriend came over, and even invited him on their dates. On top of pieing him in the face on his birthday, this story was classic. On move out day, instead of packing his shit up, he threw everything into those black trash bags. While he was in his room, two guys from the floor decided to take a bikini top leftover from a costume party and toss it into one of the bags. No harm done? The next semester, he accused me of doing it explaining to me what had happened when his mom found it. Instead of thinking he was with a girl, she automatically thought he had turned into a cross dresser and resorted to dating guys. He told me she actually started crying because she thought he might be gay. Funny thing is during that 2nd year his roommates found him locked in his bedroom with some gay guy, and they did not come out until the next afternoon. His roommates heard some crazy conversation too, but the next day he totally denied it. I guess mom knows best.
Jay Thrilla, Oklahoma

So my freshman quarter I roomed in a dorm with this really creepy kid, Martin. This kid was a slob, he spent all day playing videogames on his computer and never left his desk, not even to go to class. He never picked up after himself and gave off the most foul odor ever. He also was known as "the creepy kid" because whenever I would invite a girl over, he would sit at his desk and just stare at her. This kid was the ******* definition of the Anti-Poon. Anywho, one day, me and a buddy saw my room was for once empty and Martin was nowhere to be seen. We sat around for a while watching TV when my buddy asked me where Martin was. I responded by going on a 5 minute rampage about how he was probably in the bathroom jerking off to WarCraft or some other weird shit. I also pointed out to my buddy the countless packets of empty food that his fatass was too lazy to throw away and had collected in the corner of his room. As I'm ranting, my friend Matt comes in the room and grabs his backpack. I look over at Matt and say "Oh, phew, I thought you were Martin." I than hear a voice from the top bunk of my dorm, "No, I'm up here." I was so shocked that I didn't have anything to say, not realizing Martin was up in the bunk the entire time. From that point on, Martin never played another videogame, and he cleaned up his entire mess the next day. A week later he moved out and didn't even warn me ahead of time. SHAZAM!
Alex, UW

At the beginning of my freshman year, my 5 roommates and I all decided to make a trip to Costco and split the total evenly. Two of them were the biggest potheads at my school (that's saying something considering SSU is a pretty big weed school) and decided that they would take more than their share so I decided to start putting all my stuff in my room and my mini fridge. Even though I had a single and the door was always locked, they somehow found a way to steal my food still. They would eat everyone else's food out in our common fridge also. Whenever my food in my room would expire, I put it in the common fridge knowing they would eat it without looking at the expiration dates. One day, I came out of my room and heard some sounds coming out of their rooms. They both were definitely puking their stomach lining out. It turns out that eating cereal with old, chunky, expired milk isn't the best choice. One of them even had to go to the hospital. Have fun starving to death next year since both of you spend all your money on weed and never buy your own food. That's going to be hard since you're going to be living with each other.
Anonymous, SSU

Last year in our fraternity house we had a stoner freshman who couldn't hold his liquor, stole everyone's cigarettes and was a general waste of life. Just to give you an idea of how big a douche this guy is, he had sex with his best friend's girlfriend while his friend was passed out in the bed next to them. This kid had his day coming. One night he drank one too many drinks and ended up setting off a fire extinguisher in my friend's room across the hall from me. He ruined a $2000 hdtv, the carpet, refrigerators, microwaves, clothes, couches and 3 computers. A kid who was sleeping in the room got Carbon Dioxide poisoning and had to go to the hospital. He still has lung issues to this day. The kid also took the initiative to kick my door in and steal half of my dvds while i watched him from my bed. He tried to deny the entire thing the next day until I found all of the dvds under his mattress and the fire extinguisher under his pillow. He half assed apologized to us and got away with no penalty whatsoever because his butt buddy was on our executive board. I worked at the department of student life on campus, so I stole a bunch of envelopes and letter heads. I sent letters to his rich parents, our fraternity alumni chair, and his high school's dean (just for good measure, the kid had discipline problems in high school) saying that he had been kicked out for destroying university property. His rich parents pulled him out of school and made him go to therapy for 6 months. His former High School dean had him go talk to the seniors about the dangers of alcohol in college. Our alumni chair fined him $10,000, charged him with vandalism (which got dropped), and kicked him out of the fraternity. Well, he came back to school last semester a "new man". He still doesn't know it was me who sent the letters.So remember all of you incoming freshmen, karma is a bitch, especially in college.
Anonymous, Penn State

My roommate freshman year always talked about how high he was getting. All my friends and I knew he was full of shit and never actually partied near as much as he said he did. Halfway through the year we got tired of his shit, so we convinced him that we had some kind of "wonder weed" which was actually oregano. We followed this by giving him an 18 pack of Bud filled with O'douls. What makes it all better is that the RA found the bottles of "beer" and gave him a citation for having alcohol in a dorm room while he was "totally hammered and high"
Mike Roper, CU Boulder

Freshman year I hated my roommate. He was incredibly messy, ate all my food, went to bed really early and smelled like shit. Oh yeah, and he would bring over these ugly, fat chicks to hook up with. I mean chicks easily over 250 lbs who looked like if Jabba The Hutt and Amy Winehouse had a kid. Disgusting. Anyway, one night I was fed up. He was up on the top bunk banging this hefty critter so I decided to put an end to this once and for all. I quietly sneaked into the room, climbed up the bunk bed so I was directly over their heads, pulled down my pants and positioned my ass right over her face. I let go the longest, smelliest fart I could and then, oops, something came out. She screamed and ran out of the room, half naked and with the shit still on her face. Needless to say, my roommate was pissed. I kicked him in the nuts as hard as I could and went to my buddy's place to sleep for the night. The next day, I came back to my room to fine my roommate, as well as ALL of his stuff gone. I found out the next day he cancelled his enrollment and I never saw him again. That's what you get for hooking up with cows, freak.
Tim B., UConn

So my freshman year when I was living in the dorms my roommate had this chick he had been dating for over a year. He was kind of a tool but we all got along pretty well and she was smoking hot and had hot friends. Well towards the end of the school year a bunch of us came back to the dorms smashed. His girlfriend and I went back to our dorm room and he went to this girl's room he was really good friends with to grab some stuff before he came back to our room. So her and I get back to our dorm room and turn on the TV and just start hanging out while we were waiting on him. Well like half an hour later he hasn't come back yet and she is beginning to wonder where he is. Well he doesn't respond to her calls and texts and due to her being drunk she is thinking worse case scenario, that he is ******* another girl. She starts to get all stressed out about it because he hangs out with the chick, whose room he went to, all the time and I think it made her uneasy. Well after a little longer she just straight up asks me if I thought he was cheating on her. Now I had two choices. I knew he wasn't actually cheating on her so I could just tell the truth. Or I could say maybe and see where this went. I decided on the ladder and said that he was kind of secretive about hanging out with her and never really told me much. Well this pushes her over the edge and she starts crying about how could he do this to her and what not. I start to comfort her and out of no where we start going at it and we end up having sex on his bed. After we're finished and start to sober up she freaks out, while still naked mind you. She was saying how big of a mistake this was and that we had to tell him. I looked at her and said if you tell him about this you two will definitely be done. She thinks about it and we decide not to say anything. The next morning when I see him it turns out he was so wasted he passed out on the floor in another friends room on his way back. Well I never really spoke to them after I moved out and now it says on Facebook they're engaged. Oops.
Anonymous, James Madison

Tags: Roommate Confessions

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For those of you who haven't seen the leaked first 6 minutes of The Dark Knight here you go:

As far as I know Warner Brothers has never released the first 6 minutes of "The Dark Knight" online, even though they showed it in front of "I Am Legend" on IMAX. There was one shaky camcorder version of this on YouTube but now Iklipz has one that’s better.  Even though the quality here is ungreat, the clip is awesome.  The only way this could be any better is if it was projected onto Megans Fox's naked ass.

Tags: Dark Knight Leaked

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I'm happy that at this stage in my career I often find myself writing articles about energy-efficient ways to use computers, peripherals, gadgets, and consumer electronics. It makes me feel so, you know, virtuous.

Whenever I crank out a list of helpful hints, one of the first items I include is this obvious but often overlooked gem of advice: Kill your stupid screen saver. In the good old days of tube monitors, screen savers such as those unforgettable flying toasters were invented to prevent burn-in, a permanent shadow branded into the phosphors of your monitor by a static image of, say, a spreadsheet that you left on your screen all weekend.

Well, flat-screen LCD monitors don't burn in, so if you still have flying toasters or an endlessly looping slide show of your adorable niece and nephew, you're behind the times. When you're not sitting in front of your monitor it should be off off off.

It warmed my heart to read at Green Daily that Telstra, the biggest phone company in Australia, has removed all the corporate screen savers from the 36,000 computers in its offices. What will happen? The change will cut tons of CO₂, which they claim will be the equivalent of taking 140 cars off the road for a year. Follow Telstra's example. Let your flying toasters crash and burn.

Tags: Green Screensaver

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After a little more than a couple of years of development, the Flock team has finally released version 1.0 of Flock, a Firefox-based browser that aims to cater the most connected users with its long list of supported web services spanning bookmarking, photo sharing, social networking and blogging.

Like Firefox and virtually any Mozilla-based application, Flock is available for Windows, Linux and Mac OS X in twelve languages including Spanish, Chinese, German, and French. The Windows installer however is noticeably bigger than Firefox’s. Weighting about 10 MB, it almost doubles Firefox’s 5.3 MB. The Adobe Flash plugin, bundled with Flock, accounts for about 1MB of the extra luggage.

The setup is as easy as it gets. You may want to know that there’s a checkbox for allowing the collection of non personally identifiable usage information, and it is checked by default. So the paranoid may want to click those Next buttons slowly.

On first run you are presented with a very nice looking user interface (specially if you like blue) with buttons and toolbars that should feel very familiar for Firefox users. The stop and reload buttons are merged by default, but you can customize the toolbar to get independent buttons back. Flock also allows to remove the Go and Share buttons out of the box.
A big star button is placed next to the location bar and it works in a similar way to Firefox 3 star button: one click adds it to your favorites collection, another one lets you set a specific folder to store it. You can also define tags for favorite sites but they seem to be of no use except when using remote bookmarks with Magnolia or del.icio.us, the supported social bookmarking services.

The Flock toolbar is part just like Firefox’s bookmarks toolbar with selected bookmarks and bookmark folders ready for quick access. But it also centralizes Flock’s social stuff together with nine buttons that provide access to My World, people, media bar, feedmarks (web feeds), favorites, accounts, a web clipboard, blog editor and a photo uploader.

Since some of Flock toolbar estate is dedicated to function, space for bookmarks is limited. I wonder if it would have been a better idea to send the social buttons to the menu bar where a lot of space is wasted or they could have got rid of the menu bar at all.

My World (about:myworld), is a dashboard style page featuring your latest visited web feeds, latest visited favorited (bookmarked) web sites and media from your available media feeds, along with the same options as in the Flock toolbar and a search bar. Depending on your browsing habits it could be a good place to start the day.

Accounts is where you add your credentials for one of the supported web services: Facebook, Flickr, Twitter and YouTube in the People category; Photobucket and Piczo for media sharing; Blogger, Blogsome, LiveJournalk, Typepad, Wordpress.com and Xanga for blogging and del.icio.us and Magnolia in the social bookmarking category.

It’s very straight forward: click on a service, enter your credentials and you are good to go.

Services from the People category (YouTube, Twitter, Facebook and YouTube) are displayed in the People sidebar, with quick access to messages posted and media recently uploaded. Click on the Media link of one of your contacts and the cool media bar will appear.

The media bar is a scrolling window placed above the current web page where your friend’s shared media (photos and video) is displayed. If you visit a site offering a media web feed it is also launched on the media bar and you can add it as a favorite for quick future access.

Flock’s implementation of web feed reading is a mixed result for me. On one hand it effectively separates regular bookmarks from web feeds and lets you organize them on folders which is how I prefer it to be.

On the other it didn’t import properly my Firefox live bookmarks. I tried moving them manually from the Favorites sidebar but it only works with single feeds and not folders which made it too painful.

In the end, I had to manually export my Firefox feeds as an OPML file (thanks to Sage), and then use Flock’s native OPML import/export capabilities to get them in. OPML should be standard these days, really.

And Flock should realize many of their new users will be previous Firefox users and should offer an effortless, accurate import.

The web feed reader provides a very nice looking web page with options to view posts in one or two columns and set how much of each post you want to see at a glance. It also lets you save a feed post for easier retrieval from the special Save Article folder.

Web clipboard is a beautiful, useful feature. There are time when you just need to grab a piece of text or an image for an email, a blog post or just as a quick reminder, and bookmarking a page just doesn’t make the cut: you want that specific piece of content. With web clipboard, you select that piece and drag it to the sidebar where it is stored and ready to be used. Then you can quickly check it out, visit the original source or delete it.

The blog editor provided is a capable tool for creating blog posts with the usual formatting tools, plus it integrates the web clipboard which becomes really handy here. Drafts are stored locally which is a great thing for working offline, unfortunately there’s no way to save them as online drafts.

I started writing this review with Flock’s blog editor and everything went good until I tried to insert an image. It happens that you can’t upload images just enter the address of an already uploaded file. I thought it could be because I am using a custom WordPress installation but my test with Blogger showed the same limitation.

As expected, my WordPress special buttons for adding breaks and embedding media content aren’t available neither. So for me at least, it could be somewhere to start a blog post (as it obviously is and feels closer to the web than a text editor for example) but hardly enough to finish it.

The included photo uploader works like a charm: you drag photos from your computer to the media bar, enter a title for each of one, some tags (the option is available depending on what service you are going to upload the images to), do some minor editing (rotate, crop) and set options to resize the photos, select an album, and that’s it. My test with Flickr felt very easy and quick.

Those are the most dramatic improvements but there are many other little ones that users, specially Firefox users, may like or not.

For example, the tab bar features a new tab button. A war could start at any moment because of this feature alone. The Flock team however has made a product for users in general and not just Firefox users and I think it makes the most sense to exhibit a feature as useful as tabbed browsing as much as possible.

Feature discoverability is another area where Flock shines. Whenever you land on a page serving web feeds, media web feeds or a custom search engine, an information bar pops up explaining what’s going on and how you can subscribe to the page feed or add the page search engine to your list. Same occurs when you star a page: it tells you how to set more properties. You can then turn off these notifications with a single checkbox click.

Search also has some interesting tricks. You can get live results (as you type) from sites like eBay, Craiglist, Technorati and a few others you specify at the same time. Other search engines can also be added to the Search Elsewhere section to quickly look for the search terms with other search engines.

Flock has a small selection of hosted extensions compared to Mozilla Add-ons. Fortunately at least some Firefox extensions available there work without a problem with Flock. Google Notifier and FireFTP, two of my favorite extensions had no problem to install and work immediately. Sage however seemed to get confused with the somewhat different bookmarks structure Flock uses. I guess this will be the overall experience depending on whether a extension deals with some customized feature or not.

In the end, whether you like Flock or not, or whether you will jump from Firefox to Flock will depend on how much value you find in the additional features. It could be easy to label Flock as just a Firefox remix but in my short three day test drive it felt like the sum of the parts is larger than the individual extensions.

The Flock team has done a really great job integrating so much stuff in an intuitive, efficient way which is a very hard task as anyone who has followed a long user interface discussion could agree.

For me it’s still not what I want from a social browser. I don’t want to go after my friends or ask them to go after me through several web service providers to get pictures in some place, blog posts in another and messages in yet another service.

I want a standard way of personal sharing. I want to have several providers but make it transparent for my friends. They should only need to know my user name. Probably my OpenID username and that should be enough to follow me wherever I am if I authorize it.

Another point to note is that since Flock is based on Firefox code, a delay between the latest Firefox security and stability update and Flock’s is expected. As of this writing, Flock 1.0 is still based on Firefox 2.0.0.8 code and not the latest 2.0.0.9. It may not be fair to bring it up as a con but it is a fact that should be considered specially for security updates. Some comments on the topic from the Flock team would help as well.

In the meantime, Flock provides a strong product for those who enjoy and have the time to keep up with several services. I would like to see for how long the selected web services remain relevant and whether Flock will be ready to jump to the next generation when it arrives.

Tags: Flock Social Browser Review

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The Star Wars kid has gotten a lot of shit over the years, mainly because he's not a professional. He simply didn't have the training necessary to pull off that fight sequence. On the other hand, there are lots of professionals who do have the training and simply lack the means to wield it. I'm talking about people like Aragorn, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Westley. If somehow you could only put a lightsaber in these fearsome warriors hands...Ugh, blogging. What am I even talking about? Let's just be ourselves, you guys. I found a bunch of clips on YouTube where people took fight sequences from other movies and overlaid lightsabers on top of them using magic, and they are hilarious, and you're gonna love it.

Tags: Lightsaber Star Wars Kid

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'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'

Tags: World Of World Of Warcraft

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 Rocky IV

Who needs Crunch when you've got Siberian tundra at your disposal? Rocky IV tries to convince us that pulling plows and doing reverse pull-ups in a barn built during the reign of Czar Nicholas II is the perfect way to pump up for a pro bout. We shoveled the snow off our front stoop once.

Remember all the time you spent as a kid pretending to be a ninja, wondering what training you'd have to undergo to be the real thing? Turns out all you needed was 'shrooms and some dudes to hit you with sticks. "Billionaire becomes Batman overnight" we can buy. "Billionaire becomes ninja via ice dancing?" Neh.

We always marveled at Jean-Claude Van Damme's ability to do splits (though not as much as he himself marvels at it), but we didn't realize it took Guantanamo-level torture to learn it. You sure you can't take kickboxing classes? Maybe some stretch-oriented gymnastics? Or do you really need the Iron Chef to crucify your nut sack?

Mastering the mystic art of Sinanju requires that you have patience, that you have strength, and that you be at least this tall to ride the Wonder Wheel. Let us get this straight: We can be unkillable fighting machines with little more than a Six Flags day pass? Is it any wonder Remo's adventure began and ended in the same movie?

Elektra's sandbag training works, so long as you can perfectly choreograph your enemies' attacks. "OK, Thug No. 1, you drop three inches to my left. You two, step in front of me in three, two… Perfect! C'mon people, feel that Evanescence beat and work with me!" This is Dancing With the Stars practice, not the deadly art of an assassin.

Actually, this one kinda works. Try it at home.

Tags: The 6 Most Unrealistic Movie Workouts

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Offices are basically like prisons. You're confined in a small space next to somebody you don't really like and you typically get raped by your boss everyday ... in a metaphorical sense. The food sucks and you're forced to do work you don't want to do. Now if all offices were like female prisons, that's a whole different story. Being in the presence of daily cat fights and hot naked showering is a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

#10 The Laptop Toss - Soon to be a true sporting event in the 2010 Office Olympics .

#9 Elevator Freak Out - There's nothing hotter than getting stuck in an elevator with a girl with big boobs who has bad gas. The smell of her farts combined with her cleavage is irresistible.

#8 No Smoking In The Bathroom - This might be the way to get everyone in the world to quit smoking.

#7 When A Man Doesn't Love A Woman - The funny thing is that was his fiancée.

#6 Cubicle Mates Don't Get Along - I can kind of relate because the girl I sit next to at  work smells like Limburger cheese. She kind of smells like burnt meat paste too. I don't know how to tell her.

#5 Dude Caught Masturbating At Work Goes Ballistic - Masturbating at church is one thing, but this is really inappropriate.

#4 Man Not So PC With His PC - I'm guessing he just read that McDonald's was officially discontinuing the Mc Rib.

#3 Human Vs. Fax Machine - The fax machine too the early lead, but the human still won the battle.

#2 The Old Sledgehammer To The Monitor Bit - Never mess with angry fat people. Lot of built-up rage going on there.

#1 Office Royal Rumble - This is why you don't fart in another man's coffee and sleep with his daughter in the same day.



Thanks Unibrow.

Tags: Office Freakouts Top 10

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#10 Darth Vader Punks - Take about a great fortress to watch porn in. And you know the dark side makes great porn.

#9 MTV Movie Awards Revenge Of The Sith Spoof - This is the only time in Jimmy Fallon's career that he has ever been funny. And he will never be funny ever again. Are you listening, NBC?

#8 Star Wars: The Musical - How is Star Wars not a musical on Broadway? And how is there not Star Wars museum. And where the hell is my Star Wars theme park!!!

#7 Star Wars Explained By A Three-Year-Old - It almost makes more sense when she explains it. I still don't understand what that Bobba Fett guy was all about.

#6 Yoda Gets His Rap On - Yoda could re-invent rap with his backwards talking, 40 oz. of force sipping style. A gangster is helpless against the powers of the force.

#5 Darth Vader Has A Case Of The Blues - No arms and legs and the rest of your body is burned too. I'd be pretty depressed too.

#4 Family Guy Tie Fighter Scene - If my memory serves me right, this was one of the only funny moments in the Family Guy Star Wars special. What the hell happened to that show? It used to be funny.

#3 Darth Vader Hates Cell Phones - The only thing he hates more is lava. That stuff really ruined his sex life.

#2 Darth Vader Calls The Emperor - I'm starting to get the feeling that the Emperor is very self-centered. It's like all he cares about is controlling the universe and shit.

#1 Star Wars Sexual Innuendo - Before his tragic case of Kermit the Frog voice and turkey neck, George Lucas must've been a sexual dynamo.

Tags: Star Wars History Top 10

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