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So. What can I say about being burglarized that’s constructive? Well, first off, none of us were hurt. The thief broke in in the middle of the day, and we all (oddly) happened to be gone. So the burglar got our stuff, but the baby is safe. It makes me feel better just to type that, actually. Isn’t it nicer when you don’t have to attack a guy climbing in your apartment window while the baby looks on? I think so. Fortunately, our sentimental things are mostly not expensive things, but this whole r... Read More

This week's roommate confession is devoted entirely to freshman confessions, pranks and sins so pure and evil that I couldn't squeeze it down to just 5, so it's 10. That's right! That's like, two weeks of confessions wrapped into one cheesy gordita crunch. So check out the top 10 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to me here.
My freshman year I was at a party and there was a guy there who was wasted, loud, and obviously thought he wasn't a douche bag. As it turns out, he was; so when h... Read More

1. Hair: Do you put effort into making your hair seem cool? Don't. All cool kids put zero effort into their hair. When it's messy, you do nothing. When it gets long, you never under any circumstances PAY for a haircut! There is nothing more uncool than paying somebody to cut your hair. You can either do it yourself, or occasionally push the hair out of your face with your fist. Using fingers shows effort and that's simply uncool. Some people put a lot of effort into making their hair look unkemp... Read More

"What if the Nazis had won World War II?" is a question every bad sci-fi writer has asked, and probably written a book about, at some point. The truth is there's no limit to all of the weird-ass ways the world would be different if one of the major wars had gone the other way. We asked you to ponder that, and photoshop the results. The winner (who gets $50 for their trouble) is below, but first, the runners-up:... Read More

I can’t stop watching the red band trailer for Mirrors. That jaw-ripping thing is one of the most brutal things I’ve seen…and it’s JUST a trailer. I’m a little unhinged, I know, but watching that scene pleases me and scares the living daylights out of me at the same time. I might actually cave and see the movie just to see that scene on a giant screen. While slightly obsessing over it earlier today, I tried to think of movie moments that made me just plain uncomfortable and/or scared shitless. B... Read More

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