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I was watching TV last night when, suddenly, my shoulder and upper arm began to tingle and erupted in gooseflesh. It was so startling that I jumped a little. Did something just brush up against me? Some sort of crazy energy field? (We have those in Nebraska.) A ghost? Or perhaps the bony, beckoning finger of Death? The isolated patch of goosebumps continued to prickle, and the bumps were extreme. “Look at this!” I said to my boyrfriend. He examined my arm and murmured in appropriately confused t... Read More

One of Bud Light’s funniest ad campaigns to date, the Real Men of Genius commercials made a somewhat smooth transition from radio to television. ‘Somewhat’ in the sense that our imaginations will always be funnier that what is visually spoon fed to us, and mostly because the singer from the ads is better heard and not seen. The following are 10 of the best Real Men of Genius’ which have been rated based on the following criteria: 1. The levels of sarcasm in Deep Voice Guy’s commentary.
2. Th... Read More

So. What can I say about being burglarized that’s constructive? Well, first off, none of us were hurt. The thief broke in in the middle of the day, and we all (oddly) happened to be gone. So the burglar got our stuff, but the baby is safe. It makes me feel better just to type that, actually. Isn’t it nicer when you don’t have to attack a guy climbing in your apartment window while the baby looks on? I think so. Fortunately, our sentimental things are mostly not expensive things, but this whole r... Read More

This week's roommate confession is devoted entirely to freshman confessions, pranks and sins so pure and evil that I couldn't squeeze it down to just 5, so it's 10. That's right! That's like, two weeks of confessions wrapped into one cheesy gordita crunch. So check out the top 10 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to me here.
My freshman year I was at a party and there was a guy there who was wasted, loud, and obviously thought he wasn't a douche bag. As it turns out, he was; so when h... Read More

1. Hair: Do you put effort into making your hair seem cool? Don't. All cool kids put zero effort into their hair. When it's messy, you do nothing. When it gets long, you never under any circumstances PAY for a haircut! There is nothing more uncool than paying somebody to cut your hair. You can either do it yourself, or occasionally push the hair out of your face with your fist. Using fingers shows effort and that's simply uncool. Some people put a lot of effort into making their hair look unkemp... Read More

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