SIGNS YOU'VE LIVED IN NEBRASKA TOO LONG:
-You've been on television at least 3 times describing the sound of a tornado.
-You take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial stadium is the third largest city in the state.
-You brag to other Nebraskan's about being from Omaha.
-You know how to pronounce Beatrice, Norfolk and Kearney.
-You think Coors is an imported beer.
-"Back East" means Chicago.
-You think pheasants are the most beautiful bird in the world.
-You know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed - not bowling.
-You can drive through towns like Wahoo with a straight face.
-You know what "knee high by the Fourth of July" refers to.
-You list your religious preference as "Cornhusker."
-You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
-You consider using your life savings to go to the Colorado-Nebraska football game.
-There's a tornado warning and you go outside to watch for it.
-You think Abraham Lincoln was named after the capital of Nebraska.
-"Little Smokies" are something you serve on special occasions.
-You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
-You think the "Red Sea" refers to the football stadium on Saturdays.
-Using the elevator involves a corn truck.
-You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
-You actually buy manure.
-You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
-You think the "N" on the football helmets stands for "knowledge"
-You leave your snow tires on year-round.
-You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
-You skip your mother's funeral for the first day of deer season.
-You consider irrigation boots casual footwear.
-You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart.
-You consider any building a mall, if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart.
-Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
-You know several people who have hit a deer.
-Your school classes were canceled because of the cold.
-Your school classes were canceled because of the heat.
-You switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
-You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition... Example: "Where's my coat at?"
-You can actually locate Nebraska on the United States map.
-Detassling was your first job.
-You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
-You know what "cow tipping" is.
-You voted for a football coach for Congress.
-You can't understand why Johnny Carson ever left.
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