Sometimes the butt seems to break off communication with the brain. The brain has laid down the ground rules about when it's acceptable for the butt to release the gas, but the butt gets lazy. Or the butt weakens over time from a poor diet and heavy prescription drug use. Perhaps the butt is more powerful than the brain. We only use 10% of our brains, but as far as I can tell we use 100% of our butts. For these celebrities, a lifetime of crafting that perfect public image is lost when a flatus is expelled from their anus. And the power of the butt wins again.*
*please note that I will be describing what I believe each celebrities fart probably smelled like.

#10 Julianne Hough Farts On Dancing With The Stars - I'd imagine her fart smelled like a nice blend of flax seed oil and  NurtiSystem lasagna.

#9 Erik Estrada Slips Some Farts Chips - I'm going to go ahead and guess that his fart smelled like mix of old cabbage and meat paste.

#8 Dean McDermott Has A Problem - I'm betting Tori's cleavage cave has something to do with his farting problem. I'd guess his farts smell like rotten sandwich spread and burned Pringles.

#7 Regis Lets One Ripa - I'm surprised it didn't cause Kelly Ripa to spontaneously combust. I'd think Regis farts probably smell like rotten pickled herring seafood cocktail. They loved that shit in the 50's.

6 Mary Carey Has Post Rehab Gas -  I can only imagine what years of anal sex can do to a women's gas problems. I'd say her farts smell like a cross between bacon Chalupa and rasberry anal lube.

#5 Shepard Smith Farts Live On Fox News - All the Republican angst can make one quite gassy. I'd guessing Shepard's gas smells like Limburger cheese and burnt hair.

#4 Cameron Diaz Can't Sleep Because Eva Mendes Won't Stop Farting - Perhaps Eva's farts will help clear up Cameron's complexion. Something has to be done about that mess. Oh yeah, I think Eva's farts smell like a Red Bull and liver meringue pie.

#3 Larry King Gives His Guest A Whiff Of His Butt Coffin - Apparently Larry's gas is so bad that they had to put a fan below his desk because so many guests were complaining. I'd venture to say that Larry's farts smell like burned kidney stones and vinegar.

#2 Tiger Woods Needs An Ass Mulligan - And thus we find the source of Tiger's recent back  problems. I'm gonna guess  that Tiger's farts smell like an English garden. I mean, he's Tiger Woods.

#1 Leslie Neilsen Blows Mud On A Morning News Show - The bottom line here is that old people can control their anuses very well. This is a clear cut case of old anus syndrome. And his farts smell like rotten possum cock.

Tags: Top 10 Star Farts

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