Me: Shit. It’s dark.
Melissa: I know! And the banks are super high. Do they just have enormous plows?
Me: Yeah.
Melissa: And it’s totally deserted. This is so strange.
Me: I’m cool. I’ll just consume your flesh while I wait for rescue.
Melissa: Yeah, which part should you start with?
Me: Which limb do you use least?
Melissa: Help arrives like minutes later, and you’re hunched over my body.
Me: I’m like, “Whaa?”
Melissa: OK. So it’s true we just had dinner, but I...
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